Dear Fanfiction
by SurreptitiousNinja
Summary: Gods! Can't you people understand that NO, we do not have any magical siblings who resemble the authors, Nico and Leo will NOT date your crazy OC's or Mary Sues, there are no children of two gods and Artemis and Apollo are JUST SIBLINGS. A collection of short letters to the readers and authors of Fanfiction from the PJO and HoO characters.
1. In Control of Her Powers, Piper

Dear Fanfiction,

Why am I always 'not meaning' or 'accidentally' charmspeaking people?

Look, I can control my powers, smart one(s).

Please, I beg of you, stop saying 'Piper didn't mean to use her charmspeak'. I will use it when I need to.

Oh, and I don't use it for random, easy things such as helping Leo or getting Annabeth, Jason, etc. to come over to me.

Please!

Completely in control of her powers, Piper.

P.S. I will never use my powers for evil, either.


	2. Forever Alone, Nico

Dear Fanfiction,

Why must I only have three options?

Why must it always be Thalia, Rachel or some random OC or Mary-Sue of yours that I magically fall in love with?

Okay. Let me explain to you three things:  
One: Thalico will never happen. The word Huntress ring a bell?

Two: ORACLE. That means no dating.

Three: I'm not going to date and OC or Mary-Sue just because you made them up. I don't care how long it took you to come up with these characters.

Also, I never took an interest in any of these characters! Just because they're single means I belong with them? I feel so original.

Forever Alone (if that's what it takes), Nico.


	3. The Only Son of Poseidon, Percy

Dear Fanfiction,

…

Since when do I have a secret twin that my (our) dad hid in his castle throughout the years?

And why does my 'twin' have the same hair and eyes as me but every guy in camp is obsessed with her and wants to date her?

What's up with her being best friends with all my friends and having powers more powerful than Poseidon himself?

And finally, what's _wrong_ with you people?

Thalia and Jason have the same parents, and they don't have the same exact hair, eyes, cheekbones and personalities!

The only, un-original feeling Son of Poseidon, Percy.


	4. A Non Obsessive Power User, Jason

Dear Fanfiction,

You're joking, right?

Must I use my powers for everything?

I mean, I don't need to fly up steps. My legs are in perfect condition; why hover around everywhere and use my powers for no good reason?

And don't pretend like my powers don't drain me.

You don't see Percy using his powers to drink water, do you?

A Non-Obsessive Power User, Jason.


	5. Smart and Responsible, Annabeth

Dear Fanfiction,

Okay, look.

Just because I'm worried about Percy does _not_ mean I'm going to stop living my life as a normal Daughter of Athena.

It does also not mean that I will push all of my chores on Malcolm and go sulk in my cabin.

Nor does it mean that I'm going to make the Gods angry by ignoring my duties as the Architect of Olympus.

Are you people forgetting who I am? I am Annabeth Chase, the independent, smart, responsible Daughter of Athena who could kick your butt in a moments notice.

And don't you forget it.

Independent, smart and responsible, Annabeth.


	6. Riding Solo, Leo

Dear Fanfiction,

Ever since anyone finished the book I'm in, I've just been pushed to the side with Nico when it comes to relationships.  
Here on the sidelines, we get three choices.

Mine happen to be Piper, Thalia or an OC/Mary-Sue.

_Please._

Piper is obviously interested in Jason. Besides, she's my best friend. I'm here to prank and make fun of, not date, sweetheart.

Thalia. She'd fry me to death if I even came close to her. Then Jason would save me just so he could fry me to death again. Your really think I wanna die _twice?_

OC/Mary-Sue... Just think about it. I'll try them on any day that doesn't end with a _y_.

Riding solo, Leo.


	7. Officially Offended, Thalia

Dear Fanfiction,

I'm a _hunter,_ scumbags.  
That means absolutely NO DATING.

But that doesn't mean I'm someone you can just pass of to the people who don't have love lives.

I mean, come _on! _

I'm only ever paired up with Nico, Leo and Apollo, with the occasional Luke thrown in there.

People only like me and Nico because we're both 'goth' or 'emo' (oh _please._ Green Day is just pop mixed with eyeliner. Nico I can understand. But me?).

I'm only ever with Leo because Leo's got no one else.

Apollo likes to go after girls that are specifically off limits- that does not mean he will go after Lady Artemis, mind you.

Really? We grow up as basically siblings, then he becomes Kronos, and you're gonna try and pair me up with _him?_

You people are pathetic.

You don't realize how _insulting _all four of these pairings are. You try being paired up with just the random leftovers!

Officially offended, Thalia.

**A/N: I am having **_**way**_** to much fun with this. Seven updates in one night; that's gotta be record. I know it's one for me!  
This is to fun. And I already have like, seven reviews! Thank you!  
Well, it's 1:50 a.m.. I've been writing these since 12:50. They don't take that long to write, actually.**

**Anyway, I'm goin to bed. Peace!**


	8. Wishing For Better Grammar, Athena

Dear Fanfiction,

_I luv anabeth chasse soo much cuz shes so awesome smart I luv to kiss her so much lalala from percyj_

Are you kidding me?

When you publish writing like this, it's just an embarrassment to any _decent_ author out there.

When you write a story, first you must check your grammar, spelling, etc.

Next you must make sure it _makes sense._

Then you want to make sure you are posting the correct chapter.

Lastly, if you are doing multiple chapters, have a consistent story line! Unless you are warning us that these chapters will not be in any chronological order, I don't want to see another Fanfiction with a random storyline that changes every chapter.

Wishing for better grammar, spelling and story lines, Athena.

P.S. A writing tip: Writing is like baking. You wouldn't bake something with dozens of little imperfections (ig: raw egg) in it and serve it to the public, would you?


	9. Never Coming Back, Chaos

Dear Fanfiction,

Honestly, do you really think I would ever become good?

Or, in fact, ever come _back?_

I am the father Gaea.

Who turned _evil, _by the way.

Good girl.

Anyway, no. I will never team up with that pathetic Percy Jackson.

I'm dead, mind you.  
I couldn't even if I wanted to.

So stop writing stupid little fanfictions about Perseus Jackson turning evil and coming to help _me, _who happens to be in Tarturus.

Never coming back, Chaos.

**A/N: This chapter idea is courtesy of BlackSCrazy.**


	10. Completely Over Percy, Rachel

Dear Fanfiction,

So, in your little deranged minds, you believe I'm _still_ in love with Percy and I'm going to steal him from Annabeth.  
You're joking, right?

First of all, it was a _little crush. _I was never obsessed with him and never will be. He's too much of an idiot for me, anyway.

Also, when I liked Percy, he said nothing about Annabeth. I mean, sure, they're demigods; they couldn't tell me. But if you're sort of in love with your best friend, just say so!

Lastly, I'm not going to steal him from Annabeth. She's one of my _best friends. _And anyway, I'm the Oracle. I can't date.

Let's just set something straight:

Prachel will never happen.

Completely over Percy, Rachel.

**A/N: Chapter idea courtesy of amba01. Please note I will not be doing all of your chapter requests. I'm sorry. But if you'd like, continue sending in chapter idea's. I may use them if I have Writer's Block!**

**Oh, and thank you all for favorites, reviews and follows! I've only been at this for hours, and yet I have 24 reviews! Thank you all!**


	11. Last Name Forgotten, Grover

Dear Fanfiction,

I am a Lord of the Wild.

Shouldn't you know my name by now?

My _full_ name, at least.

Come on! I have a last name, people! It's not Tree, or Grass, or Sun.  
It's Underwood!  
My name is Grover Underwood!  
I'm not like Reyna. I have a last name.

Last name forgotten, Grover.


	12. Hard As A Rock, Dionysus

Dear Fanfiction,

Just because the little brats helped saved my people from Olympus does _not _mean I'm going to go all soft and start calling them by their correct name.  
Nor does it mean Zeus is going to let me come back to Olympus.

(Just because he closed Olympus doesn't mean I'm _inside _Olympus at the moment.)

I'm not going to be all nice and help those pathetic little Demeter kids grow their plants or any other demigod with their stupid problems.

You people need to grow some brains.

I will never go soft.

Not without my wine.  
And I'm not getting that for awhile.

Hard as a rock, Dionysus.

P.S. If I can't drink wine, you think that my children could, either?


	13. Brunette, Normal And Dead, Silena

Dear Fanfiction,

Just because I'm skinny doesn't mean I'm anorexic!

Or bulimic.

Or crazy.

I'm a perfectly normal Aphrodite girl; skinny, pretty, and likes to gossip.

We Aphrodite girls don't like to be called anorexic.

It's very insulting.

By the way, I'm dead, if you didn't get the memo.

Also, I'm not blond. I'm a brunette, people!  
Brunette, normal and dead, Silena.


	14. Forever Dead, Anyone Who Has Died

Dear Fanfiction,

Listen up, people:

We're dead.

_Dead._

That means we're not coming back for you little Truth or Dare games, to play Spin the Bottle, go on quests with you or go on social networking sites with you.

We're dead, and that's final.  
Forever dead, Bianca, Luke, Silena and anyone else who has died.


	15. The Stuffed Animal Murderer, Octavian

Dear Fanfiction,

Okay, I'll admit it.

I cut stuffed animals.

But I do it because I am the Legacy of Apollo!

So stop yelling at me for murdering your stuffed animals.  
Just like Rachel spews green smoke in order to tell prophesies, I kill stuffed animals.

To each their own.

_The _stuffed animal murderer, Octavian.

P.S. No, I did not murder Percy's Pillow Pet or Jason's secret teddy bear.

P.P.S. Since when do Percy and Jason _have_ Pillow Pets or teddy bears?

* * *

**A/N: Happy fifteenth chapter!**


	16. Not Pathetic, The Aphrodite Cabin

Dear Fanfiction,

Though we may enjoy fashion, does that mean we're obsessed with it?

…

Okay, maybe we are, but that doesn't give you the right to say so!

Besides, we give fashion tips for _free._ We're so generous!

Also, we're not shallow. Why does everyone think that we're horrible and mean and pathetic?

Okay, so Drew maybe horrible and mean.  
But pathetic?

We're not useless, you know.

Without us, most of you couples out there would not be together!

Your outfits would suck, too.

Another thing; our cabin saved your _lives._

Silena and the Drakon, anyone?

She sacrificed herself for your people.

Remember that next time you decide to write about us as just a cabin of bullies.

That's Ares's cabin.

Useful and not pathetic, the Aphrodite Cabin.

**A/N: Yeah, I know Percy had a Pillow Pet in the SoN. I know Octavian murdered it. But would he ever admit it (though he probably did)? **

**BlackSCrazy: Yes, Jason's secret teddy bear DID come from your story. :D Thanks for letting me use it! **

**Idea from BlackSCrazy**


	17. More Than Two Tee's, Greeks and Romans

Dear Fanfiction,

Orange Camp-Half Blood t-shirt's are getting old.

**And so are purple Camp Jupiter tee's. **

Honestly, people, we have other clothes, you know. We don't just where jeans/shorts and our Camp shirts.

**Even in AU stories, the kids from the Greek camp are always wearing orange shirts-**

And the Romans are wearing purple. They just don't have the camp logo on them.

**Please, people. Come explore our wardrobes. We like the reds, greens and whites, too!**

Owning more than two t-shirts, the Greeks **and Romans.**


	18. Have Last Names, Reyna and Juniper

Dear Fanfiction,

So what if we don't have last names?

Does that mean you can make up ridiculous last names for us?

Does that make it _okay? _

Our names are our names. Even though you may not know our full names, we do. It's not okay to make up fake ones.

Like, if you didn't know Percy's last name. Would you call him Percy Water because he's a Son of Poseidon?

No. You wouldn't.

So why are we the exception?

We're not.  
So we don't want to see anymore story's with Reyna Smith (that doesn't even have to do with my heritage!) or Juniper Nature.

Got it?

Last names kept secret, Reyna and Juniper.


	19. Not Infatuated, Reyna and Piper

Dear Fanfiction,

Let's set one thing straight, shall we?

I am not obsessed with Jason.

**Nor am I.**

Just because Reyna and I both are interested in him, does _not_ mean we will have a bloody battle over him or hate each other because of him.

**It also does not mean that Jason will diss me while talking to Piper about me, and vice versa.**

Most of all, we will never in a million years become _suicidal_ over Jason.

**Never. We're not stupid. We'd put our lives before a stupid little crush over Jason Grace.**

Exactly.

Not infatuated with Jason, **Reyna **and Piper.

**A/N: Requested by joybella and a Guest.**


	20. No Weather Disasters, The Campers

Dear Fanfiction,

It doesn't rain here in the spring.

It doesn't snow here in the winter.  
The leaves don't change in the fall.

It's only ever sunny!  
Anyone remember the spell that makes Camp only sunny unless Dionysus gets off his lazy butt and decides to change the weather?

Of course not.  
Just keep in mind that it's always sunny at Camp next time you decide to write a fanfiction about us that includes the weather.

In a safe haven where there will be no weather disasters, the Campers.

**A/N: Happy twentieth chapter! Wow, twenty chapters in two days. That's a lot! **

**Oh, my God. I have 53 reviews! Thank you all so much! 53 reviews in two days! That's more reviews than in any of my other stories! All I can say is thank you thank you thank you! **


	21. Just A Boy, Percy

Dear Fanfiction,

I'm not a girl, you know.

I wouldn't be in love with Annabeth if I was a girl.

So stop portraying me as a girl!

I will never, and I mean _never_, be suddenly transformed in to a girl.

Or ever fall in love with a _guy_. *shudder*

Just a boy, Percy.


	22. Happily Single, Artemis

Dear Fanfiction,

Peratremis?  
_Really?_

No.

Just... no.

Percy and I will never, _ever, _be a couple.

Here are three perfect reasons why:

Number one, I'm a maiden goddess.

Two, Percy is happily dating Annabeth Chase.

Three, Percy and I are not on the greatest terms. In fact, I'm not on good terms with any man, even my father.

Happily single, Artemis.

P.S. 'Perlia' will never happen, either. Honestly, my second in command, Thalia Grace. Can you imagine her and Percy together? They tried to kill each other, for Pete's sake!


	23. Scarred For Life, Jason

Dear Fanfiction,

_Eww._

Please. Please please _please!_ Please don't post anymore stories about *shiver* me and..._ Nico._

Or _Percy._

*shudder*

I'm dating Piper and I may have something going on with Reyna (I guess?).

Do you really think I'm gay?

Please stop posting these stories.  
They scare me.

Scarred for life, Jason.

**A/N: If you ship any of these couples, I'm not insulting you. I'm just writing as Jason would see it (in my opinion).**

**Also, I have nothing against gays. **


	24. Not Interested, Apollo

Dear Fanfiction,

Did you know Artemis was my sis?

Yeah. My sister. My twin, in fact.

You know what that means?

Artemis and I will never be a couple.

Please, people, be realistic.  
I'm hot and all, but my sister (acts like she) hates me.

Why would we get together?

Sure, most gods and goddess get together, but they're not really related.

But Artemis and I?

We're actual twins, remember.

That means don't go around posting stories about me and my sister.

It's just _wrong._

Not at all interested, Apollo.


	25. Dating Percy, Annabeth

Dear Fanfiction,

Piper and I?  
Are you kidding?

...For your sake, I hope you are.

Because I'm happily dating Percy, and she's happily dating Jason.  
Period, point, _blank._

Dating Percy, Annabeth.

P.S. This is kept short for a reason, you know.


	26. Never To Be Beaten Again, Ares

Dear Fanfiction,

That Jackson punk beat me once.

So what?

That doesn't mean I'm going to become weak and let everyone step on me like a door mat.

No one else will ever beat me. I'm the God of War, for Zeus's sake!

Why can't you people get that through your pathetic little minds?  
That Percy kid got lucky.

Very, _very_ lucky.

…

It was _one time!_

Never to be beaten again, Ares.

P.S. What is with with mortal thinking anyone with the name Perseus can defeat me? He did in Wrath of the Titans, too!


	27. Not Gardener or Gardiner, Katie

Dear Fanfiction,

Katie Gardener is not right.  
Katie Gardiner is not right, either.  
It's Katie _Gardner._ Not Gardener. Or Gardiner.

Gardiner is Miranda's last name.

(Whom replaced me all of a sudden as cabin counselor...)

Sure, I like to garden, but that doesn't mean my last name is _Gardener!_

And Gardiner is just bad spelling, so...

Anyway, get it through your heads. Gardner. Say it three times.

Gar-d-ner.

Not Gardener or Gardiner, Katie (Gardner!)

**A/N: So, sorry I haven't updated all day. What chapter are we on? I can't remember. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews and favorites and follows and stuff! **

**I love you all!**


	28. Facing A Woman's Anger For You, Poseidon

Dear Fanfiction,

I've let you people write about Sally and I for a long time, and experience the wrath of Amphitrite just so you people could enjoy writing about our short (but true) romance.

But when you start pairing Percy and myself together is when I draw the line.  
Percy is my _son_. My favorite one, at that. Do you think I would wreck his life like that?

Do you think I would _enjoy _that relationship?

Well, obviously some of you do...

And why must our fics *shiver* always be rated M?

We all know what goes on in rated M fics.

…

Stop. Just... stop. Those fics are _really_ pushing it.

Questions facing a woman's wrath for you brats, Poseidon.


	29. Not In Love With Katie, Travis

Dear Fanfiction,

I am _not_ in love with Katie Gardner.  
Let's just set that straight.  
The only time we ever talk to each other (that you witnessed) was, like, twice! And we were yelling at each other!  
Just because I prank her all the time does not mean I'm in love with her.

She hates me for it!  
Who wouldn't hate a guy who put chocolate Easter bunnies on their grass roof, on a sunny day?

So please. Tratie, or Kravis, or whatever you want to call it, will _never exist. _

Get over it.

Not in love with Katie, Travis.

**A/N: Just to let you know, I ship Tratie. ;)**

**Hey! So, this is like, the twenty ninth chapter or something. Are you people excited?**

**Oh, and guess what? We have almost eighty reviews! Woo hoo! That's almost (probably is) more than all of my other stories' reviews combined! I'm so excited!**

**Now, I'm not trying to be a little review whore, and I WILL update even if I don't reach the goal, but can we maybe try and hit 100 reviews? That would make my whole summer!  
Thank you so much, my loves. I can't possibly thank you enough.**


	30. No Internet Or Minutes, The Demigods

Dear Fanfiction,

…

Are you stupid or something?  
Don't you people remember that Demigods can't have phones or internet, because it would attract monsters?

Even in Camp.

So why would Hermes or Hephaestus only now come up with Demigod safe internet and phones, and not when they first came out?

You know, besides the fact that it's _impossible._

You know. Just saying.

So just know we will never,_ ever,_ be on Facebook, Twitter, Chat Rooms, etc.

No internet or minutes, the Demigods.

**A/N: This chapter was kind of stupid, so sorry about that.  
Oh, and if I offended you in this story, I apologize. Because I've gotten one or two complaints from Guest's that I'm getting my facts wrong and offending them, so sorry. **

**Oh, by the way, happy 30th chapter!  
**


	31. Brunettes and Red Heads, Cabin 6

Dear Fanfiction,

Look, we're not _all_ blonds.

Just because Malcolm and Annabeth have blond hair does _not_ mean we all do.

It's not the 'classic Athena child trademark' as you all say.

Gray eyes are our trademark.

Stupid.

Annabeth's blond because of Fredrick, and Malcolm...  
Well, no one knows about Malcolm.

But still!

Brunettes, redheads and black hairs, too, Cabin 6

P.S. Have you ever _seen_ mom's picture?

**A/N: So sorry for not updating for two days. I feel ASHAMED!**


	32. No Silver Eyes Found, The Hunters

Dear Fanfiction,

We don't have silver eyes, you know.

Not just a few select ones of us.

None of us.

Certainly not all of us, either.

So what makes it okay to say in all your stories that we Hunters have silver eyes, just because we and our Lady Artemis wear silver?

Come on!

We have people with gray eyes, sure, but silver?

_Really?_

No silver eyes found, the Hunters

P.S. Silver eyes don't even exist, dummy!

**A/N: Oh, my God. Ninety-nine reviews! Can I get one more, maybe?  
One hundredth reviewer will get a letter request and a shout out!**

**Oh, and did anyone else watch the Opening Ceremony? Go Team USA!  
I live in America, by the way. **

**Love you all!**


	33. Never Stoned, Nico

Dear Fanfiction,

Picture this:

_Percy Jackson and Nico di Angelo, sitting in a smoky room, smoking Gods know what. They are both higher than a kite and drunker than Dionysus back in the days when he had his wine._

Can you imagine Percy or I doing this?

Oh, you can, can you?

There are certainly plenty of stories containing these... _lies._

First of all; do you really think that poorly of us?

Second; think of our fathers. What would Poseidon and Hades say, hmm? Or, not say, perhaps, but possibly do?

Drown us and send skeletons after us?

Most likely.  
(We're not that stupid. We know the consequences.)

Third; no. Just no. We defeated a titan (Percy has defeated multiple). We're smart enough to know that Percy's mother would whip him till he had no skin.

And Maria di Angelo would come back from the dead just to bring me with her.

Think about what pain this causes _us_ before you make us experience it.

Never stoned, Nico.

**A/N: AHHHHHH! We've done it people! 100 reviews! YAY! It hasen't even been a week, and I have one hundred reviews!**

**Thanks to SephCurrentDaughterofPoseidon for being my one hundredth reviewer! I'll PM you and you can give me your idea. ;)**

**Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorite-d or followed! I love you all SO MUCH!**


	34. NOT Sue's, OC's

Dear Fanfiction,

Why does everyone hate me?

Why do people avoid my stories when they see 'OC' included in the description?

What?

Is it because you think I'm a Mary-Sue?

Oh, _please._

Not all of us are Mary-Sue's, you know!

We can be good characters and interact with the PJO characters too!  
It doesn't mean we'll steal Percy from Annabeth, be infatuated with Nico, or be a attention hogs!  
You stereo-typing JERKS.

NOT Sue's, OC's.

**A/N: Alright! So this one was for SephCurrentDaughterofPoseido n for being my 100th reviewer.  
Readers, reviewers, favorite-ers and followers; thank you so so SO much, my loves. I can't thank you enough for all the support. **

**P.S. SO SO SO SO SO SO SOOO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I'VE MISSED YOU GUYS!**


	35. Change Her Shirt Design, Thalia

Dear Fanfiction,

So, in case you all haven't noticed, I wear other things than my 'Death to Barbie' shirt.

Like, hmm, my Huntress uniform, perhaps?

Or maybe on the days I'm allowed to be out of uniform, my Camp shirt?

I'm flattered that you all consider me to have another shirt than my orange Camp one, but honestly! Why does everything I wear have to be jeans and my 'Death to Barbie' shirt?

That needs to be washed _sometime,_ you know!  
At least Camp has an endless supply of clean Camp shirts.

Then when you wash one, you can wear another.

But sadly, our Camp shirt is not my 'Death to Barbie' shirt.  
So we don't have an endless supply.  
So please, make me wear something else before I run you through with an arrow.

Begging you to change her shirt design, Thalia.

**A/N: Hey! Hope you liked. I'm so happy that I have 125 reviews! I love you all so much, loves. Thank you. OH! And happy 35th chapter!**

**Oh, and just so you know, school will be starting in four days., so... updates will become even LESS frequent (and you all know how I am already with updates. O.o). I'm so sorry. You all have until Wednesday to enjoy my (more) frequent updates!**


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